Gomez has written a play for the Family to celebrate Wednesday's birthday. Cousin Itt, Fester and Lurch all want to be the hero. Cousin Itt is brilliant as the hero, Claude, much to Fester's disgust, he wanted the role. Now all they need is a director, so Gomez decides to hire a professional. Erich von Bissell, who wants to rekindle his faded career, and thinks the play beneath him until Gomez offers $50,000. Meanwhile, Fester locks Itt in a chest so he can play the hero, Fester is in turn locked in the iron maiden by Lurch, who also wants the role. When Itt is freed, von Bissell refuses to work with him, especially when he hears Itt's voice. Offended, Itt hides up the chimney. Morticia coaxes him down and works on improving his voice. Itt slows his speech down to reveal a deep baritone, which von Bissell adores. Itt now gets airs and won't do a silly amateur play. Morticia is appalled and tries in vain to get the old Itt back. Gomez brings over producer Sam Detrick, who wants Itt to b

On Morticia and Gomez's thirteenth wedding anniversary, Morticia tells the children a bedtime story of how she and Gomez met. Gomez was supposed to marry her sister, Ophelia (also played by Carolyn Jones). Gomez was 22, and a hypochondriac. Grandmama invited Ophelia and her mother, Mrs. Frump, over. Ophelia is a blonde, sweetly good-natured and with a habit of strewing daisy petals everywhere. Gomez is unimpressed, but when her younger sister Morticia arrives, it's love at first sight. She has Kitty and Cleo with her. Mrs. Frump insists that Ophelia the older sister, marry first, but Gomez hates her. She's no only too bright and cheery, but also a judo expert with; penchant for flipping Gomez. Using judo, Ophelia forces Gomez to propose to her. Morticia goes to Gomez, who is playing with his train set, and tries to congratulate him. They blow up trains together. Morticia is obviously the one for him. When she speaks French it inflames his blood and Gomez is convinced. But what are they

Wednesday and Pugsley refuse to go to sleep until they are told the rest of the story of their parents' romance. Plans for Gomez and Ophelia's wedding continue. When Fester arrives, he's astonished to find that anyone wants to marry Ophelia, but then learns the truth. He decides that the perfect solution is to have Cousin Itt marry Ophelia, so Gomez can have Morticia. Ophelia is a fan mysteries, and no one is more mysterious than Cousin Itt! She's quite entranced with Itt. Meanwhile Gomez tries to hide in the tunnel under the house. Morticia finds him and forces him to talk to Ophelia. Gomez explains that he can't marry her, and to his surprise Ophelia doesn't care, she's smitten with Cousin Itt Gomez then proposes to Morticia, who accepts. The wedding continues, with a different bride than planned. Ophelia literally throws over Cousin Itt, he's too much of a playboy for her.

Princess Millicent von Schlepp, (who is actually Aunt Millie from Iowa) arrives for a visit in her sedan chair. She's a snob, even though her husband squandered all her money but oil stocks. She has a literal handmaiden, Lady Fingers, a hand that Thing falls desperately in love with. Millicent insists that they spruce up the place, and dress accordingly. Fester the Jester is not amused. They finally can take no more, and take her to a hotel. Oil is discovered on her property and she's rich again. Morticia is relieved that she's gone, and will give no more orders: 'The Addams Family is a democracy again. Thing is depressed, missing Lady Fingers. Gomez agrees to invite Millicent back. but Millicent has fired Lady Fingers and hired a new maid, Esmeralda, another disembodied hand. Thing goes missing, and Millicent discovers one of her bracelets has been stolen. She thinks Thing is guilty, but Gomez proves Esmeralda is the thief: Thing retums with Lady Fingers. The two are engaged. Millicen

Gomez is insulted by his latest tax bill, which is only $84, and complains to the mayor Henson. Mayor Henson misunderstands and offers him a rebate, convincing Gomez and Morticia that he's incompetent. Morticia convinces Gomez to run for office, so Fester gets out Wizzo (their computer) to help with political questions. Unlike Henson, Gomez won't lie and cheat, and the reporter who interviews him discovers Gomez has odd views, such as aiming to preserve picturesque slums. The Mayor challenges Gomez to a TV debate, which Gomez wants to weasel out of, but then gets utterly preoccupied with. Morticia is distraught and tries to get him to quit. When that doesn't work, she tries to convince people not to vote for Gomez, but her efforts all backfire. Gomez is about to be elected, but is disqualified on a technicality, which makes everyone happy again, especially the Mayor.

Cousin Itt is shedding hair, and the family is worried that he'll lose his great good looks along with his hair. Fester gets out his chemistry set to produce a batch of hair restorer and prevent a disaster.

It's Halloween, and Moticia is seen sharpening Gomez's knife. Gomez takes the knife, and starts to carve Uncle Fester's likeness. Uncle Fester is posing for a sculpture. He comments ""I like to pose- it's so artistic!"". Gomez reveals his masterpiece- a jack-o-lantern carved to look ""exactly"" like Uncle Fester. Then, it's time for the halloween festivities; Gomez and Fester bob for apples on opposite sides of a seesaw. Gomez then answers the doorbell, making Fester fall into his bucket of apples, and win automatically. The prize? A kiss from Morticia (she had planned it for Gomez). Gomez returns, saying it was Pugsley and Wednesday practicing their trick-or-treat routine. Morticia realizes they have nothing to give to the children. Gomez suggests a walrus tusk each. Morticia says ""No, darling, it's halloween."" Gomez says ""2 walrus tusks?"" Morticia says they want little goodies, so Gomez and Lurch use the guillotine to prepare some bite-size salamander sandwiches. Gomez and M

Morticia disapproves of the books the children are assigned from school, since they portray giants, goblins and ghouls as the bad guys. She sets up an office in a cave and starts writing better stories such as 'The Good Giant Slays Sir Lancelot' and 'Cinderella, The Teenage Delinquent'. Gomez is worried because she seems so obsessed and is afraid he'll lose her to her work. She asks him to send her story to Demon Press (she likes the name), and Gomez agrees to Fester's suggestion to change it and make it unprintable. When he does, though, Boswell, the publisher, arrives , thinking Morticia is a genius. He asks for $5,000 to publish the book, convincing Gomez he's a con artist. Gomez gives him $10,000 to get rid of him. Morticia returns to work, on Goldilocks next: 'Trust a blonde to bring on trouble.' Gomez discovers that Boswell was for real, and Morticia' s book is selling like crazy becoming the standard work for schools. When she reads it, though, she's appalled: the witches are ba

Morticia wants to do something to add to life artisticaily, so she decides to take up sculpting. Lurch carries in a huge rock for her and she sets to work. Three months later, Fester still isn't impressed, so Gomez calls in art critic Swain for an informed opinion. He suggests blowing the sculpture up, and Gomez has to hide this opinion from Morticia. He decides that the best way out of this is to get someone to buy it, and hires Sam Picasso (last seen in episode 14) to do the deed. Sam Picasso and Morticia instead decide to sponsor starving artists. Gomez is driven to distraction (and near-bankruptcy) by this, as Morticia neglects everything to concentrate on her work. Then she finds the children making fudge and is horrified. She decides she's been neglecting them and gives up sculpture. Gomez is more than happy, because he's been feeling neglected also, and Tish promises to make it up to him.

Pugsley is all melancholic because he's in love with his teacher, Miss Dunbar. Gomez tries to cheer him by buying him a pneumatic drill, but Pugsley already has one. Pugsley tries to write a love letter, but he can't get it right, so he copies one of his father's old ones to his mother. He then sends the love letter to his teacher, Miss Dunbar. She's horrified and goes to visit Pugsley's father. Naturally, Gomez knows the letter by heart and she thinks he sent it. The shy and mousey Miss Dunbar is charmed and attracted to Gomez and attacks him. Gomez tries to put her off, without success. Fester sees him in a compromising position with Miss Dunbar and tells him, 'I don't know about you, but I come from a long line of stool-pigeons.' He tells Morticia, who confronts Gomez. Gomez explains that he's only wooing Miss Dunbar to show her she is an attractive woman and can get a man of her own. He's afraid to reject her because it might damage her self-esteem. Morticia doesn't buy it, and is

Prominent socialite Abigail Adams is in a feud with the Gomez Addams branch of the family, and is threatening to sue Gomez for his millions. Meanwhile, little Wednesday has met a boy her age, Robespierre Courtney, and wants him to be her boyfriend. The boy's mother, Mrs. Courtney, a social climber who knows nothing of the Abigail-Gomez feud, thinks that Wednesday is Abigail's granddaughter, and is eager to have tea with the Addams family, expecting to meet Abigail. When the Addams family invites Robespierre and parents to tea so that Wednesday can play with ...

Gomez is having some sleepwalking issues brought on by Grandma's famous yak stew. The house descends into chaos when a connection is made between a recent spat of cat burglaries and Gomez's nighttime adventures. Morticia goes on the search for a cure before Gomez gets caught and branded a criminal.

The Addams family is puzzled when a photographer from Strife magazine calls but leaves no message. They suspect he wants to photograph Gomez for a "Man Of The Year" piece, but Gomez is concerned that only one man in the world has ever captured his true self in a photograph. Gomez devotes all his resources to finding this man and re-capturing that perfect image.

Don Javier Francisco de La Mancha Molinas arrives from Spain with daughter Consuella and a chaperon in tow to joyfully honor a decades-old contract signed by the families' two grandfathers for marrying Gomez to Consuella. A little deafness and a slight language barrier doesn't help straighten out the purpose of Don Javier's visit, nor assert a quick clarification that Morticia is not Gomez's sister, which brings Gomez's marital fidelity into question.

Uncle Fester is chosen to slide down the chimney dressed as Santa Claus to prove the existence of St. Nick to the children. Fester gets stuck in the chimney, so Gomez, Lurch, Cousin Itt, and even Morticia and Grandmama each don a red suit and appear to the children.

Fester gets a letter from another of his pen-pals, Diana the bearded lady. Overcome with emotion, he proposes to her by mail. Morticia is worried about him and poses as Diana's mother (complete with beard) to try and talk him out of it. She accuses him of being unable to support her 'daughter', so Fester decides he has to get a job. He enrolls in a correspondence course in business and starts getting into it. He gets very aggressive and hones his bargaining ability. He impresses Logan with his skills and is offered a job. Meanwhile, worried, Gomez calls in a psychiatrist, Dr. Brown, to help cure Fester. When Logan comes to see Fester, Gomez thinks he's the psychiatrist and that he's trying to take Fester off to an institution. Gomez manages to get rid of Logan, and Fester decides he's had enough of work and gives up on his plans to marry. When the real Brown arrives he thinks Fester's crazy, but the Family thinks he's cured.

The children are bored. THey ask if they can go out to play, but Morticia absolutely forbids it; the weather is bright and sunny! Dreadful weather, if you're an Addams. Then, Granmama comes in, and comes up with the perfect solution to the children's boredom; She invites them to come watch her wrestle the alligator. THe children are reluctant at first, so Granmama offers to do it in the quicksand, and they happily oblige. Morticica comments on how Granmama is spoiling the children; she's been letting Pugsley sleep with his tarantula, she lets them sit on her back when she does pushups, ""And I KNOW she's been telling them where I keep the yak fudge!"". Then, they hear a knocking. They answer it, and Uncle Fester falls into Gomez's arms, carrying a big crate. Morticia demands to know what Fester was doing out there in this dreadful weather. Fester explains that they were clear out of dynamite, which he has in the crate! Now, they're both convinced that Fester and Grandmama are sp

For his impending visit from pen pal Yvette of the Folies Bregeré, Uncle Fester is secretly trying to whip himself into shape, even recruiting guidance from fitness guru Jack LaLanne himself. With all the sudden dieting and exercise going on, Morticia and Gomez know something's up but think Fester's trying to join the space program.

Discovering a treasure map in the sea chest of Great-Great-Grandfather Peg-Leg Addams the pirate, Gomez and Morticia decide to hire a boat to go look for it.

Ophelia brings a new beau to show off, but the Addams believe him to be a fraud.

Pugsley wants to find a job to the horror of his parents.

Annoyed by not being asked to contribute to a charity drive, Gomez decides he'll build his own old folks' home. Meanwhile, Granny Frump's birthday is coming up and she's been invited over. Gomez and Morticia plan to send her to a beauty spa, but Pugsley thinks she's heading for the retirement home. Fester thinks that's a good idea, but reluctantly suggests that she should make herself too useful to be sent away. Granny tries hard, but she overdoes it and upsets Lurch by stealing his chores. Wednesday tries to cheer her up by suggesting she act young. Granny overdoes that, too, dressing and acting like a child. Gomez and Morticia think she's cracked up, and call in Dr. Jonley to examine her. Fester discovers the truth and explains to Granny - who then mistakes Jonley for the beautician and insists on being taken away. She enjoys the mental hospital for a while, but leaves when they won't give her a perm.

Morticia is caught up in the National Beautification Program and decides to become a decorator. Their new neighbors are the Digbys, and he's an insurance salesman. Gomez asks him to insure their art collection for a million dollars, and invites him to visit with his wife. They're taken aback by the Addams's house, and Mrs. Digby explains that they have to decorate their home. Morticia offers to help, and Mrs. Digby faints. Once the insurance papers are signed, Mrs. Digby claims she can't afford to use Morticia, thinking that will end matters. The Family feels sorry for the neighbors and order Lurch to take over a few decorating items. Fester disapproves and tries to sabotage this by substituting a genuine antique desk he loathes. Mrs. Digby thinks she's misjudged Morticia and asks her to do the rest of the house. Morticia complies, turning the garden into a desert, the house into a jungle and the basement into a swimming pool by flooding it. Mrs. Digby faints again. Morticia likes the

Ophelia's upset that her latest beau, Montrose, has gone off to join the Peace Corps. His looking so much like Uncle Fester gives Fester the idea to join the Peace Corps as well. Ophelia's all excited that Fester, once in, can look for her Monstrose, but can Fester pass the entrance exam?

After the children's tongue-lashing at school for setting off dynamite caps at recess, Morticia and Gomez enroll them at Mockridge Private School headed by their "old friend" Sam Hilliard. Headmaster Hilliard's none too happy about having Addamses in his life again. Gomez takes this to mean he's under too much pressure from his board of regents, so he surprises Sam by buying Mockridge Hall, changing its name to Addams Hall and having it run "as it should be run " with courses in head-shrinking, taxidermy, do-it-yourself dentistry and demolition by dynamite.

Kitty Cat seems to have a loss of appetite. At first, they suspect that he's just lonely, and try to find him a wife. However, Cousin Itt tells them that Kitty Cat may just have a cold. With that, Gomez calls Dr. Mbogo, the family witch doctor. He requests a house call, but Dr. Mbogo refuses; Kitty Cat's father ate his father! THen, they call a vet. However, he becomes scared to death of Kitty Cat (I don't blame him), so the Addamses try to get his confidence back, by treating other family members. He ""cures"" Uncle Fester and Cousin Itt, and even Cleopatra, but he runs when asked to treat Thing. Then, Grandmama tells them that the loss of appetite was due to Pugsley already feeding him!

Morticia is afraid that they are overworking Lurch, so Gomez builds him a robot assistant. Lurch doesn't like 'Smiley until he realizes he's now the Head Butler. He then has Smiley do all of the work in his stead. The problem is Smiley is too strong, and this causes all kinds of complications, and he simply can't cook. Gomez begins wishing he'd never had this particular bright idea, since Lurch has stopped working. They decide to cure him by telling him! he's no longer needed and he can take a long rest. Lurch is now worried, because he likes his job, and he's afraid he's been replaced. Thing suggests sabotaging Smiley. When Gomez rings for Smiley, Lurch appears, with a wrench, to announce that Smiley has resigned...

Uncle Fester's mishap with a new flame-thrower sets the stuffed bear afire in the Addams' living room. Morticia calls the Double-Indemnity Insurance Company to have it replaced, but head of the company A.J. Henson is reluctant to comply. Eventually it leads to company agent Mr. Digby getting the boot for failing to cancel ALL the Addams' policies and not backing Mr. Henson in all things. Now the Addams feel compelled to help Mr. Digby establish his own insurance company.

Morticia's school chum Trivia visits. Lurch is obviously smitten by her, but Trivia's interest is entirely in show business. Moticia decides to change Trivia's mind by making Lurch more exciting than show biz. She enlists others in the family to help, including Grandmama, whose love potion makes the biggest and wildest impact of all.

Ophelia visits, upset as usual. He latest boyfriend has left her, as usual, and the family tries to find something she's good at.