How to Buy a Baby
"How to Buy a Baby" is the story of an infertile couple that struggles to conceive with the help of a doctor. And a nurse. And a financial planner. And unsolicited advice from everyone they know.
Jane and Charlie's adoption worker closely inspects their home, electrical outlets, tax returns and sex life to confirm they are ready to be parents.
Jane and Charlie attend 27 hours of mandatory parenting training where they are hoping to make friends, but only with people who are likely to get a baby after them.
Jane and Charlie write their adoption profile trying to guess what favourite books, music and food a birth parent might connect with. Does liking cereal suggest they're fun and will make good parents?
At a gender reveal party, Jane is horrified that Charlie sent their adoption profile to his mother, who sent it to his sister, who sent it to Aunt Ruth. Everyone is pregnant and/or has a suggestion.
Jane and Charlie finally have an adoption date with Sasha, a potential birth mother. Even when Sasha's boyfriend comes instead, Jane is undeterred in believing this is it, this is their baby.
It's an extra merry Christmas as Jane and Charlie celebrate being chosen by another birth mother. Sure, it didn't work the last time but this time, this baby is absolutely, definitely, the one. Right?
Attending a public adoption orientation, Jane and Charlie are hit with the reality that they are one of so many identical, hopeful couples.
Jane and Charlie attend the Ministry's Adoption conference where child welfare societies profile sweet, wonderful, adorable children who are in need of adoption. It's fucked.
Jane gets a scary call from a postpartum woman who wants Jane to take her baby. Now. Desperately shaken, Jane questions if she wants to continue trying to adopt.
Jane and Charlie find out about two children who need loving parents. Are Jane and Charlie them?
Jane and Charlie run into an old friend who knows exactly what they need to do to get pregnant. They then visit the fertility clinic to begin another round of in vitro fertilization.
Ovaries and sperm sure make for awkward conversation over a family dinner. Luckily, Charlie's family is available to help. In all the wrong ways.
Jane and Charlie's test results are back and the diagnosis is in: they are fertilifucked. How do you make a baby together when you lack the necessary pieces?
Jane and Charlie pick a sperm donor for their baby.
Jane and Charlie's test results are back and the diagnosis is in: they are fertilifucked. How do you make a baby together when you lack the necessary pieces?
Jane and Charlie try to have sex but find that it loses its intensity (er, purpose?). They seek solace in friends.
Jane has her eggs retrieved while a young medical student sees a vagina for the very first time. It's a big day for both of them.
Jane and Charlie are ready to have their embryo transferred - a procedure that can only take place once their costly bill is paid in full.
The stress of infertility takes its toll on Jane and Charlie's relationship. Are they really in this together?
Jane and Charlie try to distract themselves as they wait for the results of their pregnancy test.
| Location | |
|---|---|
| Language | English |
| Release | 2017-11-13 |
| Producer | Loco Motion Pictures Inc. |