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Seinfeld
8.3
"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

A stand-up comedian and his three offbeat friends weather the pitfalls and payoffs of life in New York City in the '90s. It's a show about nothing.

Seasons & Episodes
The Butter Shave

Not fully recovered from "The Summer of George," George is using a cane to get around. Jerry might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance on a NBC Showcase that might lead to another pilot. He is also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania's act is working, only because he is following on Jerry's coattails, a time-slot hit. Bania scores with big laughs and also gets one of Jerry's ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on vacation for a month in Europe with David Puddy. If he's lucky he won't "come back in a body bag." Kramer finds butter is a better protection for his skin after shaving. George is hired for the job because of his use of the cane. They think he is handicapped and of course he takes full advantage of the situation. Kramer's skin feels so good with butter; he takes to spreading it all over his body. Unfortunately he lies out in the sun where he begins to cook. It's a long flight back for Elaine and Puddy, who break up and get back together, only to break up again. Newman, reading the cannibalism themed story Alive!, finds the smell of a cooked Kramer appealing. Jerry is informed that Bania is going to follow him on the NBC showcase. George sprains his good leg and Jerry discovers that George is a closet Bania fan. Kramer tries to keep his skin moist but the baked in smell of cooked meat is too much for Newman. George manages to keep up his bluff until he tries to take on some old-timers. Jerry plans to sabotage his own act, surmising that Kenny's act will also bomb, but Kenny gets the last laugh.

The Voice

George's employer wants to get rid of him, since they now know he isn't really handicapped and they don't like him. He has a one-year contract with Play Now that he will make sure they honor by him showing up for work every day. Jerry and George mock the sounds the Jerry's girlfriend Claire's stomach makes during the night. Jerry envisions the belly button as the mouth and the sound the stomach makes its voice. Because of the "bump into" Jerry tells Elaine that she is destined to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she bets him $50 that she won't. The next day Jerry discovers that Elaine didn't go home last night, he accuses her of seeing Puddy. She says the sex they had was an isolated incident. Jerry agrees but the dinner they also had was more of a commitment, he demands that she pay up. Kramer is tired of seeing all his ideas implemented, because all the little day to day incidental things keeps getting in his way and keeping him realizing his ideas. He gets an intern from NYU to help him out with Kramerica Industries; the corporation he had previously setup to develop some of his ideas. With this help he'll be freed from the day-to-day activities and be able to develop his ideas, such as the oil tanker bladder. Meanwhile, George is fighting the siege mentality that he is encountering at work and Elaine just can't get Puddy off her mind. No matter what the obstacle, George endeavors to occupy his office. Jerry tells Claire about the voice and she leaves him. The university takes Kramer's intern away from him. Claire says they can get back together if he won't do the voice ever again, he decides the voice is worth it. Unfortunately, everyone is tired off the voice. Elaine pays ups and they decided on a double or nothing bet. The intern comes back on his own because he believes in Kramerica. Play Now tries to negotiate with George, but he won't give in. Later, he offers his office and one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer t...

The Junk Mail

Jerry's childhood friend "Fragile" Frankie promises to get Jerry a new car because of a show he did for Frankie's car dealership. George prepares for his weekly call to his parents. Kramer plans his revenge on a company because of the over abundance of catalogs they've sent him in the past month. Elaine is back with Puddy, but meets the man of her dreams at the diner and plans to keep Puddy in reserve until she finds out if the new guy can "handle the workload." Kramer gets deluged with more catalogs and plans to stop the mail. George's parents cut him short on his weekly phone call. Jerry gets a van and not the Saab he'd hoped for. Frankie reminds him of the childhood dream they had where they got a van a toured the country. George pops in on his parents and reminds his parent's they didn't call him back, but they have to leave right away. Kramer bricks up his mailbox, but that doesn't stop his mail from being delivered. Jerry plans to sell the van; Kramer helps him out with the ad copy that cites interesting trades considered. Kramer goes to the post office to permanently cancel his mail. Newman confesses to him that no one really needs their mail but that there is a greater conspiracy at work. George demands to know what's going on with his parents; they tell him they are cutting him loose. George isn't ready for abandonment; he plans to date his cousin as a means of getting his parents involved in his life. Jerry determines that the appeal Elaine finds in her new boyfriend comes from some old commercial that he appeared in. Kramer wants Jerry's van and offers Anthony Quinn's old tee shirt as an interesting trade. Elaine wants Puddy back, but is rejected by him. Kramer uses the van to launch his anti-postal campaign. George's cousin is into their relationship; however, George schemes to have his parents catch him making out with her. Kramer is captured and enlightened by the postmaster general. Elaine's boyfriend gets his second piece of go...

The Slicer

Elaine is having nightmares and sleepless nights due to her neighbor's inconsideracy. The neighbor is out of the country and has left her alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m.. George gets a dream job at a very badly run company, his new boss seems familiar to him, then a photo in the boss's office reminds him of "the boom box incident." Fearing that he might lose his new position, George listens to Kramer's advice and plots to get hold of the photograph and get it retouched. Kramer's dissatisfied with the meat he is getting with his sandwiches, so he obtains a meat slicer. Kramer suggests Elaine that she short circuit her neighbor's apartment and blow the circuit breaker. Jerry is going to go out on a date with a doctor that Elaine recommended, but the date is annoying when the doctor can only talk about saving lives. The photo lab screws up the retouching by eliminating the boss from the photograph and not George. Jerry discovers the doctor is dermatologist. George recommends a carefully orchestrated revenge date. Kramer uses the meat slicer to help Elaine feed the neighbor's cat; the power outage shut off the automatic feeder. Jerry's revenge date goes well, until he is reminded of the phrase "skin cancer." Elaine is still using the slicer and finds it very handy, until she tries to even her high heels. George goes back to the photo shop to find they put the boss back in the photograph as a cartoon. He now needs to obtain a new bare-chested photo of his boss or find a new job, perhaps the Coast Guard. Jerry's doctor date would provide the perfect opportunity for him as she does skin cancer screenings. Elaine keeps the slicer problem from Kramer by threatening him with seeing some circus clowns. Later, Kramer goes to her apartment to pick up the slicer; she fixes it and quickly shoves it out the door. Kramer sees the dinged up blade and tries to get back into her apartment, but he takes the knob of the door. Jerry has developed an allergic reaction ...

The Betrayal

Jerry, George and Elaine return from their trip to India that they don't want to talk about. Sue Ellen calls the wedding off and Nina doesn't want George or Jerry. George finds out that Jerry slept with Nina and Elaine slept with the groom. Kramer and FDR settle their score, a snowball with something extra. Jerry "schnapps" Elaine to find out why George is so bitter with him. Kramer tries to out wish FDR. Elaine, Jerry, George and Nina arrive in India, where Elaine discovers that the groom is someone she slept with and that they are the only people from the U.S. who are attending the ceremony. Kramer is angry with Newman because he didn't use his birthday wish to save Kramer from FDR. George "schnapps" Elaine to find out the secret Elaine is keeping about Jerry and Nina. Elaine buys tickets to India to spite Sue Ellen by showing up at her wedding. Kramer tries to get Newman to use his birthday wish to protect Kramer from FDR. Elaine finds that Jerry and Nina have just slept together. Elaine meets the parents of Sue Ellen's fiancé who try to convince her not to go to India for the wedding; after all they aren't even going. Jerry and Nina suffer an awkward pause in their conversation. Kramer confronts FDR about his birthday wish. Elaine's mail from India is an "unvitation" to Sue Ellen's wedding in India to someone whose name seems familiar to her. George asks Jerry to call Nina about setting them up on a date and realizes he must where his Timberlands every time he sees her. Jerry and George are walking down the street and they run into Nina and old girlfriend of Jerry's whom he never slept with. Kramer attends FDR's birthday and FDR gives him an evil eye right before blowing out the candles on his cake. Elaine receives an item in the mail from India. Two years earlier, Jerry tells George and Susan that Nina might be the one; Kramer nails FDR in the back of the head with a snowball; Elaine is dating an Indian man named Peter (Pinter). Eleven y...

The Apology

Jerry's girlfriend walks around his apartment naked; she even eats breakfast and plays Scrabble naked. An old friend of the gang named Jason is going through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and is currently working on step 9, where you make amends to individuals for past wrongs. George is anxious to receive Jason's apology for the humiliating neck-hole incident. Elaine is offended when her co-worker, Peggy, can't tolerate Elaine's germs, but easily tolerates the germs of other people. Kramer discovers he's been taking too long in the shower, so he tries to make some changes to his shower routine. Jerry comes to realize there is good naked and bad naked, when he sees his girlfriend coughing. Jason stops by the restaurant to apologize to Jerry, but fails to apologize to George. George confronts him later, only to be humiliated some more. Kramer changes don't work out, so he asks for advice from Jerry and observes the men in the shower at a health club. Elaine confronts Peggy and gives her some germs. George tells Jerry how he can show his girlfriend the concept of bad naked using a belt sander. Kramer decides to live in the shower. George talks to Jason's sponsor, who recommends that he attend a meeting, only it's not AA, it's Rage-oholics Anonymous (RA). Jerry executes George's plan. After doing his dishes in the shower, Kramer decides he needs to add a garbage disposal to bathtub. Kramer calls on Puddy for installation advice. Elaine tells Jerry one of the problems with his body and why a naked male body isn't attractive. Puddy tells Elaine why her co-worker doesn't like her germs, she's a "germ-o-phobe," like he used to be ten years ago. He accompanies Elaine on a visit to Peggy to prove his theory. Jerry convinces his girlfriend to put on her clothes; however, he can only picture her naked and unfortunately she can only do the same with him. Kramer cooks up a meal that he serves to Elaine, Puddy and the recovering Peggy, only they all react badly ...

The Strike

George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number. George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing. Jerry decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk's, something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the sabotage he committed; the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly. Kru...

The Reverse Peephole

Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea; he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr. Zaius" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree. Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carryall. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. ...

The Cartoon

Kramer's brutal honesty, gets Jerry in trouble with Susan's old college roommate, Sally Weaver. Elaine obsesses over the meaning of a cartoon that appears in The New Yorker. Elaine and later Kramer comments that George's new girlfriend looks a lot like Jerry. In fact Kramer says "just because they look-a-like, that doesn't mean you're (George) secretly in love with Jerry." Jerry confronts Kramer's frankness. Sally claims that Jerry has ruined her life, she's quitting the business, Jerry can't have that on his conscience, he talks her back into the business. Kramer makes an important life decision, the only way to keep his mouth shut, is to stop talking. Before he finally stops talking, Kramer's constant references to the looks of George's girlfriend, drives George out of Jerry's apartment. Elaine goes to The New Yorker to seek an explanation for the cartoon. Discovering that the editor didn't understand the cartoon either, he liked the kitty. Sally opens her new one woman show about "Jerry Seinfeld- the Devil." Elaine's complaint, gets her the opportunity to do her own cartoon for the magazine. Jerry confronts Sally about the content of her show. Newman is her biggest fan; finally, he can see a "show that is about something." Kramer discovers the disadvantages of not talking. George worries about why he really likes his girlfriend. A clip of Sally's show appears on channel 9 news, it features Jerry's latest confrontation with her. Elaine works all-night on her first cartoon, it is okay, but it is not the gem that Elaine thinks it is. Jerry calls Sally and the message he leaves on her answering machine appears in her show as well. Later the lawsuit he filed appears in her cable special. Jerry decides to cut off all communication with Sally. Elaine's first comic appears in The New Yorker. Peterman thinks it is a great cartoon, until he realizes it is a Ziggy and he can prove it -- "Quick Elaine, to my archives." George and his girlfriend discuss...

The Strong Box

George tries to break up with his girlfriend, Maura, only she doesn't agree. Jerry has purchased cuff links worn by Jerry Lewis in Cinderfella. He plans to use them as a conversation starter with Lewis when he goes to an upcoming roast at the Friar's Club. Having the same first name isn't enough. A man of mystery that she has met intrigues Elaine. Jerry suggests that perhaps he is a super-hero. With robberies occurring in the building, Kramer has obtained a strongbox to hold his valuables. He needs to find a place to hide his key. A place that no one knows, except him. His first place doesn't work. George lays out all of the reasons that they should be officially broken up, Maura still doesn't agree "to turn the key." Elaine gives up on her mystery man when he runs from a woman that Elaine deduces is his wife. She returns to Jerry's apartment to find that his intercom is broken. So she shouts to him from the street, about the mystery man, while she waits for the opportunity to get into his building. Jerry inspects his intercom, only to find Kramer's strongbox key hidden inside. Kramer hides his key again. Jerry finds the key again and decides to go down to let George in. While downstairs, a neighbor who's forgotten his key and is unknown to Jerry asks to be let in. Jerry denies him entry. Elaine goes to the mystery man's shabby apartment and discovers he is poor and on welfare. The woman he ran from is his welfare caseworker. Jerry discovers the keyless neighbor, does in fact live in his building, on the 5th floor in apartment 5E (!) right next door to Kramer. Elaine tells Jerry about her mystery man's super powers. George decides that cheating on Maura might be his ticket out. Kramer lets Phil, Jerry's "new" neighbor, keep his parrot in the hallway. Kramer also hides his key at Phil's. Glenn, the mystery man, takes Elaine on a date in the alley. Jerry needs his cufflinks for the roast, only to find out that Kramer has locked them in his stro...

The Wizard

Jerry buys his dad a $200 Wizard organizer for a birthday present. George receives a message from Susan's parents, the Rosses. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend and that intrigues her (is he black?). George returns the call from the Rosses; the Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe her boyfriend is black. Susan's parents see George on the street in the city, during the time he is supposed to be in the Hamptons. Jerry is woken up early in the morning at his parent's house and gives his father the "$50" organizer that has many features besides a tip calculator. Later he discovers that Kramer has moved down there, to join the other retirees. Elaine laughs when Susan's parents ask her about George's house in the Hamptons. Of course, George just builds on the lie. Morty, who can't run for president of the condo association, decides that Kramer should run for condo board president of Del Boca Vista phase III. Once Kramer is elected, Morty will run things from behind the scenes. Elaine schemes to try to determine her boyfriend's race. George finds out the Rosses knew that he lied. He decides to take them to the Hamptons, to "see who'll blink first." Kramer begins his campaign and the Boca Breeze has good things to say about him (see NOTE:). When Elaine's boyfriend says they are an interracial couple, she is convinced he is black. George keeps building on his lie, as he picks up the Rosses and takes them on their ride to the Hamptons. Kramer receives some bad press from the Boca Breeze; it's damage control time. Kramer suggests buying each member of the board one of those Wizard tip calculators. Jerry knows he can't get the deal he told his father he'd received, but Kramer says not to worr...

The Burning

Elaine thinks that Puddy is religious because of the presets she discovers on his car radio. The first idea George presents at a Kruger project meeting goes over great, his follow up suggestion isn't as well received. Jerry suggests that George use the old showmanship trick of leaving on a high note. Elaine tells George and Jerry about her suspicions; George suggests that she reset his radio presets as a test. Kramer and Mickey get an acting gig playing sick for some medical students. Jerry's girlfriend, Sophie, calls him with the familiar "it's me" greeting only he doesn't recognize her voice. George leaves a Kruger meeting on a high note. For their acting job, Mickey gets bacterial meningitis and Kramer has gonorrhea. Elaine confirms that Puddy is religious. Kramer picks up on the showmanship idea and really plays up his gonorrhea part. Sophie leaves an "it's me" message on Jerry's answering machine. George suggest he call her back with the "it's me" greeting. Sophie doesn't recognize Jerry's voice and thinks he is someone else; Jerry discovers that she hasn't told him about the tractor story. Puddy doesn't have a problem with Elaine not being religious, after all he is not the one who's "going to hell." George and Jerry speculate on what the tractor story is. Elaine begins to worry about going to hell. Kruger throws everyone off the project because they are boring, so now George is the only other member of the project team. Kramer receives rave reviews for his portrayal of gonorrhea, but now he feels he has been typecast. Jerry sees a scar on Sophie's leg and assumes it was from a tractor accident. George finds that he has to do all the actual work on the project as Kruger keeps making excuses and doesn't do any actual work. Puddy wants Elaine to steal a paper, after all she is already going to hell and he doesn't seem to care. Kramer takes Mickey's ailment. Elaine and Puddy seek the advice of a priest about where their relationship is goi...

The Frogger

Elaine is confronted with cake from two separate birthday celebrations. She is tired of the forced socializing, so she calls in the sick the following day. Jerry & George are going to their old high-school hangout for one last slice of pizza. Kramer was at the police station where he obtained some caution tape used for crime scenes and also hears about a serial killer that is on the loose in the Riverside Park area. At the pizza parlor, George discovers he still has the high score on the old Frogger video game. Elaine's co-workers give her a cake to celebrate her return to work from being sick, she refuses to take part in any future celebrations. Jerry goes out with Elaine's friend Lisi, but she is a "sentence finisher, it's like dating Mad-Libs." George decides to by the Frogger machine, but Jerry asks him how he is going to move it and keep it plugged in to preserve the high score. (This pizza parlor has never had a blackout in all that time? Sometimes with sitcoms, we must suspend reality. Kramer discovers the last victim of the serial killer looked a lot like Jerry. George works to find a solution to his Frogger problem and Kramer volunteers the help of a man he knows named "Slippery Pete." Elaine misses the 4 o'clock sugar rush she had gotten used to from all the celebrations, so she decides to raid Peterman's refrigerator, where she finds a piece of cake. She finds out from Peterman that the piece of cake he has in his refrigerator is worth $29,000 because of its historical significance. The cake comes from the 1937 wedding of King Edward VIII. Jerry is looking to breakup with Lisi, but discovers that she lives in Riverside Park area. To avoid the serial killer, he takes Lisi back to his place where she finishes one of his thoughts that takes their relationship to the next level. Elaine tells Jerry and George about the cake and she also tells Jerry that Lisi is planning a weekend trip for them to Pennsylvania Dutch country. Jerry fe...

The Maid

George searches for a nickname and decides on "T-bone." Jerry has hired a maid to clean his apartment. Elaine suspects there is more than cleaning going on. Kramer's girlfriend is moving downtown (10 minutes by subway) to a different way of life. Kramer tells Elaine he is having a fax sent to her apartment, only Elaine informs him that she doesn't have a fax machine. George makes a play for being called "T-bone" at work, but a coworker gets the honor. Elaine gets home to find 57 messages waiting for her, most of them the fax machine trying to deliver Kramer's fax. Elaine catches Jerry kissing the maid. Jerry confesses that he has a personal and work relationship with his maid named Cindy. Kramer's girlfriend is gone and he tells Elaine that he signed up for a food delivery service. They're going to fax him menus for all the restaurants for the next year. Elaine gets a new number and with it a new area code, she really wanted a "changed" number. Kramer and his girlfriend have a relationship by phone. George finds out about Jerry and his maid. Elaine tries to give out her new number to a guy, but the new area code scares him off. George wants his nickname and confronts his coworker, Kruger sees George's gestures through a window and it reminds him of "Koko the Monkey." Elaine finds out a woman in her building has died, she had a telephone number with a 212 area code. When Cindy takes her fee but leaves without cleaning anything, Jerry wonders what he's paid for. Kramer calls him "a john." George and Jerry swap information on their respective situations at Monk's counter. Kramer returns from visiting his girlfriend and reports the oddities he saw there. The gang tries to communicate while sitting at Monk's counter. Jerry's maid tells George that there is woman at the cleaning service named Coco. George sees this as an opportunity to get out from under this nickname. Jerry breaks up with and fires Cindy. Elaine gets the dead woman's number and re...

The Puerto Rican Day

The gang tries to get back into town after leaving the Mets game early in the 8th inning, the Mets are down 9 - 0. On the highway they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. George comments on a new movie he saw about the Hindenburg disaster and the clever comment he made during a quiet moment after the explosion. As they approach 5th Avenue traffic slows down and music can be heard, they realize they have forgotten about the Puerto Rican day parade. Elaine worries about getting home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend wind down. Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way over to the right. They almost make it over until they reencounter the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate transportation. George bails out of the car when he spots a theater screening the Hindenburg movie; he decides he wants to repeat his glory. Elaine decides the cab she hired isn't working, so she bails out of the cab, only to have it start moving again and again. George's attempt to be funny at the movie is undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser pointers. Kramer suggests that he and Jerry abandon his car. The laser pointer guy (a lousy prop comic) gets all the laughs as George's line bombs and he is humiliated. Kramer cuts a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns to the car with the red dot of a laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body. Jerry rescinds his apology wave just as he is about to pull in the alley; Elaine arrives back at the same spot in her cab. Jerry's apartment is seen, but no one is home. Elaine seeks an alternate way home. Kramer seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over to the parade route and looks for a way across. She leads a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing stand ala The Poseidon Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist,...

The Andrea Doria

George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he's more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her and tells she has "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication. He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient for the post office. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George and the survivor don't get the apartment.

The Little Jerry

Everyone makes a comment about a bad check of Jerry's that is on display at Marcelino's store. Through the Foundation, George gets the opportunity to visit a women's prison. He is disappointed when the facility doesn't meet his impression of what he thinks a women's prison is. He does however meet a convict that he decides to ask out. He enjoys the liberation that dating a convict offers. Kramer gets a new pet, a rooster that he names "Little Jerry Seinfeld"; of course he really wanted a hen for the eggs. Jerry's parents find out about the check and offer to send money. Elaine finds out her bald boyfriend once had a fine head of hair. She convinces him to start growing it back, but when he does he shows signs of hair-loss. He begins to feel despondent. George's dream relationship hangs on the brink, Celia's up for parole. Kramer enters "Little Jerry" in a cockfight that if he wins, Jerry's bad check will be taken down. George is a character witness for Celia's parole hearing; he testifies to try keeping her in. Jerry's bad check doesn't come down, because Marcelino wants Jerry to do something for him first. Kurt seeks hair-loss advice from George that causes him to propose to Elaine. Jerry and Kramer train "Little Jerry" for the big cockfight. George experiences "fugitive sex" when Celia breaks out after her parole was denied. Celia is tracked down and Kurt is mistaken for George. Marcelino brings a ringer in for the big fight; Kramer tries to save "Little Jerry" but pays the price.

The Money

Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus for $6000 in order to give Jerry some money to help him out. They along with Kramer suggest that Jerry might try a career move. Elaine talks about her Peterman stock options and buys George's coffee. He thinks she is sticking it to him. Jerry and George talk about the money their parents might have. This piques George's interest. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend's post-sex bed habit "she's got the jimmy legs." Jerry flies to Florida to buy the Cadillac back. George seeks information on his family's health history. Kramer works out a deal with his girlfriend. Jerry meets with Klompus and agrees to pay $14,000 for it. George anticipating a big inheritance begins to spend money. Unfortunately for him, so do his parents. Klompus has a problem with the car and Jerry returns to Florida. Jerry's parents are still worried about him and wonder what to do. Morty decides to see Elaine about a job; she reluctantly agrees to give him a job, just as Peterman returns. Kramer, fearing a prowler (Jerry's dad), decides he can no longer sleep alone; unfortunately his girlfriend has decided she can. So he moves in with the Costanzas, who tell George that they are moving to Florida. Elaine returns to her regular position at Peterman, with no options. George and Elaine try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida, strapped for cash and credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. Kramer and Emily spend the night as an old married couple in the Costanzas' house. The Seinfelds make a change in their housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place.

The Van Buren Boys

Jerry's girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. The candidates seem over-qualified, until one comes in who is a lot like he was. Elaine is going to ghost write Peterman's biography. Kramer goes to Lorenzo's pizza, where he has an encounter with the Van Buren boys. He accidentally flashes their gang sign and saves himself. Peterman wants his day to day life covered in his bio; the exotic adventures are for the catalog. His day-to-day life is very boring. She tells him about Kramer's encounter with the gang and he suggests buying the story for his biography. George's scholar makes a change in his plans that causes George to disqualify him from the scholarship. Kramer sells Peterman all of his stories for $750 dollars. Elaine is put at his disposal. To Elaine, Kramer's stories aren't much more interesting. George and Kramer perform an intervention on Jerry's relationship with Ellen. George's scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine tells Kramer that he can no longer tell his stories, since they now belong to Peterman. Elaine tries to embellish Kramer's stories, but Peterman finds the rewrites ""too clichÃd and obvious."" She tells him the real Kramer story that he finds much more interesting. He tells Kramer he can have his stories back. George tries to save himself from the Van Buren boys. Jerry flies his parents in to get their impression of Ellen. He begins to see the light.

The Susie

Kramer decides that daylight saving time isn't coming fast enough, so he sets his watch ahead an hour. Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as "a phony," has become a bookie. Peggy, a co-worker of Elaine's calls her "Susie." George is excited about Steinbrenner's ball. He hopes to show off his tall blonde girlfriend with a grand entrance. Instead, she says she wants to talk. He runs away. "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." He really wants to make that big entrance at the ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike $100 for a bet he made on that night's Knicks game. Only Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. In fact, Kramer attends the game and gets into a fight with a key player that causes Jerry to win his bet. Peggy starts talking to "Susie" about Elaine's memo. Peterman hearing about the complaints demands to see Elaine, Peggy and "Susie" in his office; first thing in the morning. Mike can't pay Jerry, so he offers to help him with his trunk problem, but instead gets his thumbs broken for the trouble. Kramer breaks up with George on behalf of Allison. Elaine makes it through the morning meeting. Mike gets trapped in Jerry's trunk. Elaine and Jerry, in his car, decide it would be best to eliminate "Susie." George reconciles with Kramer. Elaine delivers the eulogy at "Susie's" wake, much to the confusion of Peggy. Kramer, with George, makes a spectacular entrance at the ball. Mike escapes from Jerry's trunk and accuses him of murder. The same fate befalls Elaine that befell George; Peterman puts her in charge of a foundation in "Susie's" honor.

The English Patient

A woman mistakes George for her boyfriend Neil, a guy who looks just like him. This intrigues George; he wants to meet Neil. Jerry is going to Florida to help his parents move. Kramer asks him to pick up some Cubans from his cigar guy and also gives him a T-shirt. Elaine and her boyfriend see "The English Patient"; she absolutely hates it and that makes her unpopular and dumped. Jerry's dad gets the T-shirt, #1 Dad, that he is very proud to wear, despite its small size. At his parents' exercise room, Jerry meets Izzy, an 80-year-old man who can't stand to lose; he challenges Jerry to a weightlifting competition; "It's go time!" He throws his back out again and again. Kramer's Cubans arrive; they're real people and not the cigars that Jerry thought he would be getting. George is overly obsessed with Neil, to the point where he is missing out on Danielle. Jerry is back in New York, where Izzy has returned to see a back specialist. Though Kramer's Cubans are really Dominicans he tries to pass them off as "Cubans" anyway; it doesn't work. Elaine's dislike for the film alienates her from everyone. When she tells Peterman that she hasn't seen the film, he immediately takes steps to correct the situation. Jerry meets the rest of Izzy's family all of who are fiercely competitive. He finds work for Kramer's "Cubans." Elaine still hates the movie, but must go to the Tunisian desert to live in a cave to save her job. Kramer thinks his unemployed Dominicans, whom he educated about communism, are planning to revolt; later they do. George gets a last word on Neil when Danielle makes a decision between the two of them.

The Summer of George

George discovers he has a severance package from the Yankees that should last him about 3 months and he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Jerry is going to the Tony Awards and so is Kramer; whereas Jerry has a real seat for the awards, Kramer has a job as a seat filler. Elaine critiques a co-worker who walks with no arm movements and is accused of being "catty." Jerry's picks up his date, only to find out that she has a man living with her. Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical in which Raquel Welch is the star. Elaine tries to work things out with her co-worker, to no avail. Kramer uses his Tony as a ticket into a place he really shouldn't be, Sardi's, where the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. Jerry goes on a date and needs George to handle the invitations for Lanette's party. He is not to skimp, this time. Kramer does his duty and pays a price. A mad Raquel walking down the street gets into a cat fight with a woman who she thinks is making fun of her, Elaine. George gets distracted and slips on an invitation. Twenty-two episodes later the gang is back where they were a year ago, only this time George is the one in a hospital bed.

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Trailers
Details Of TV
Location United States of America
Language English
Release 1989-07-05
Producer Castle Rock Entertainment