In a flash-back, after being jilted by Mira, Malcolm & Eddie meet each other for the first time at Eddie's wedding. Malcolm consoles a jilted Eddie after his bride-to-be left him standing at the altar, by relating his own disastrous trip to the altar.

After discovering that Eddie spent all his money on electronic gadgets and has no money left to reinvest in their new business venture, Malcolm and Eddie join forces to find a way to re-open Malcolm's former bar as the new Fifty/Fifty club.

Business partners Malcolm and Eddie open a jazz club with Malcolm's money. And after Malcolm throws it up in Eddie's face and wants to make all the decisions, Eddie looks for ways to raise his share of the money.

The guys pull elaborate Halloween pranks on each other at the club's annual Halloween costume party. But then things really begin to heat up when the guys meet 2 aspiring fashion models in the adjoining motel room.

Malcolm and Eddie each meet the girl of their dreams. Malcolm's girl is sweet & demure and likes to cook for him. Eddie's girl is a ""straight-up hood-rat"" that likes to drink 40 ounce bottles of beer. The men eventually find out that their dream girls are one and the same, as she is someone who takes the concept of ""I'm Every Woman"" to the extreme.

Non-church-goers Malcolm and Eddie accidentally volunteer to teach Sunday school while visiting at Nicolette's church and find that they have a knack for public speaking.

Malcolm & Eddie's business is booming at the club, so they decide to expand the club to increase business even further. However the building owner jas just recently rented out the empty space next door, and now the new tenant, who is opening a dance studio, will have to move in order for the guys to expand the club.

A wealthy tycoon challenges Eddie to a high-stakes game of golf.

Malcolm suggests Eddie settle his differences with an ex-con in the boxing ring.

Malcolm's estranged brother comes to town, igniting old tensions, but reviving old family ties. Meanwhile, Nicolette takes a job in a bowling alley, and tries to get along with unruly customers.

Nicolette walks out on Malcolm and the bar, when an unruly customer gives her a hard time and Malcolm doesnt stand up for her, and takes advantage of her friendship. Nicolette finally teaches Malcolm a lesson about what friendship is supposed to be. Meanwhile Leonard bares his soul to an attractive customer who he has a crush on, but gets rejected.

The father of Malcolm's new girlfriend offers him a bribe to stop seeing his daughter, Ashley. Hawkins has seen Malcolm in action, & knows he chases women alot, so he is not pleased to see him date his beloved daughter. So he threatens not to renew the club's lease unless Malcolm stops seeing Ashley.

Nicolette stays with Malcolm & Eddie while her place is being painted and her quirks & habits drive the guys crazy.

Its Nicolette's 30th birthday, and the gang decides to have a surprise birthday celebration for her. But the thought of turning 30 without ever having had a baby is too much for her to handle. So Nicolette asks Malcolm to father a child for her, and to do it via artificial insemination.

Eddie seeks justice on a televised court show ""Citizen's Court"" after Malcolm allows his hats to be stolen from his car, while taking them to the cleaners. Malcolm had left the windows down and the car unlocked.

Malcolm and Eddie receive tickets and all expense paid trip to New York to appear on a panel for a sports fanatic show, on the Jerry Stein show. So the guys show up for the taping dressed in weird sports-fan attire, but are unaware that they are actually on a talk show about devil worshipers. They can't understand why the audience is jeering and booing them, until the rest of the panelists come out on the stage.

The Fifty/Fifty Club is ransacked after the guys refuse to pay protection money.

Nicolette prompts the guys to offer a ladies night, including male strippers.

A contractor (Coolio) consults Malcolm and Eddie about building a club in Chicago.

The staff of the Fifty-Fifty club goes on strike and Malcolm and Eddie refuse to budge on their labor negotiations. But chaos soon ensues in the club, forcing the guys to give in to their worker's demands.

As the profits from the 50/50 club begin to grow larger and larger, Malcolm and Eddie clash over whose money-making strategy is best. Malcolm believes in investing his money in the stock market, while Eddie believes in betting on horse races.

A gorgeous bandleader (Cindy Herron) breaks up Malcolm and Ashley.

Eddie's luck seems to take a turn for the worse, each time Malcolm's luck takes a turn for the better, leaving Eddie battered & beaten. Malcolm meets a girl who he believes is the ""perfect"" girl, until Eddie tells him that he's already Been there, Done that! Meanwhile, Nicollette is exuberant about taking the exam for the Police Academy.

Malcolm's banker convinces him to hire his arsonist daughter as a waitress in order to have his loan for a new roof approved. Meanwhile Eddie sweet-talks Nicolette into continuing their secret love affair, in order to keep things spicy.

When their customers opt to go to a competing bar down the block, Malcolm decides to turn McGee's into a gambling establishment and save himself from bankruptcy.

Malcolm, his gay sister, and Eddie compete for the attentions of a new waitress.

Nicolette wants to make her relationship with Eddie a public one, while Eddie continues to want them to meet in secret. Nicolette is asked to the policemen's ball by another man, and feeling rejected by Eddie, she decides to go. Eddie gets jealous and tries to stand up for his woman, but he falls far short. Malcolm unwittingly buys stolen lobsters for the club's catering of the policemen's ball, and Simone does a fantastic job of making them a hit.

The guys may become family when Eddie's mother starts dating Malcolm's father.

After Malcolm and Eddie each make suggestions to the other about ways to improve each other's business, they decide to make a bet, which leads the guys to switch places and run each other's business for a week.

Simone tries to win Malcolm's heart through his stomach with some special chocolate cookies, but once Malcolm tastes them, he only wants to use them to go into the cookie business with. Meanwhile, McGinley tries to lure Simone away from Malcolm, to work in his bar.

Malcolm inadvertently places a large bet on Eddie when he competes in a NASCAR race. Nicollette fears a dream she had about Eddie might come true.

Eddie subs as coach of a peewee basketball team in order to show up a rival, and Malcolm worries that his trash-talk tactics will leave the team in the dumper.

The guys discover that baby-sitting Eddie's infant cousin draws women, but then they panic when they realize that the baby is missing.

Friends guide feuding Malcolm and Eddie down memory lane.

Malcolm acts as chef Simone's husband to fool her high-school nemesis.

Malcolm dreams about a distant future where he and Eddie are still roommates.

Malcolm uses tough love on his sister who gets fired and dumped in the same week.

Nicolette enlists Malcolm and Eddie to help her shy beau find the words to propose. So the guys devise a plan to help Stanley gain some confidence by encouraging him to become a lady's man. As his confidence grows, the plan begins to backfire, with disastrous results for Nicollette.

It comes as a shock to Malcolm and Eddie when they learn that their old pal, Nelson Carter, is getting married. After all, there was a better chance for the Pope to get married before Nelson ever decided to settle down. But on the day of Nelson's wedding—and after a wild night at his bachelor party—the two begin considering settling down themselves.

Malcolm, his sister Maura, Eddie and his mother Sheila are preparing a surprise party for Malcolm's father Marcus. Maura and Sheila start arguing over what they believe to be Marcus' favorite cake, but things really start heating up when Eddie's Grandpa, Aunt Ruby, Uncle Lud and Cousin Doyle make an unexpected entrance.

Everybody thinks Eddie's pal Rusty is crazy. During his career as a NASCAR driver, Rusty had one too many racing accidents that have left him short of a few lug nuts. His presence at Eddie's garage and Malcolm's bar has been good for business, though. However, Nicolette discovers that Rusty is really an alias and that he's a lot crazier than anybody originally thought....

Malcolm's dream to renovate McGee's into 1930s jazz club is in full swing when he discovers that the contractor he hired to build his bar turns out to be an old Navy buddy of Eddie's. Since he and Eddie did not get along in the Navy, the contractor leaves the job until Eddie gives him an apology, leaving Malcolm without a bar.

Needing Tim's help in getting a tattoo removed, Malcolm agrees to date Tim's feisty sister & really turns on the charm to soften her stoney heart. But Tim may not be too happy about the results. He threatens Malcolm that he should not hurt his little sister, or else! Now Malcolm must find a way out of this relationship, but he must be extremely careful.

Malcolm's car bites the dust, so Eddie talks Malcolm into buying a car from a police auction. Much to their surprise, the car contains a secret load of cash hidden inside. Things begin to heat up when tough guys show up interested in getting the car back.

Malcolm's life changes after meeting a spiritual counselor, falls in love with her, and decides to sell his bar. His wedding plans dissolve after she decides she's really in love with someone else. Meanwhile, Eddie decides to take an executive job in Pittsburgh.

Malcolm practices for his sports commentator audition at the local radio station, earnestly recording play-by-play onto a demonstration tape while watching the basketball game... until Eddie accidentally blows up the television set. Insistent on helping his roommate replace it, Eddie wheedles Malcolm into attending a free ""personal wealth seminar"" where each participant is promised either a free TV or a set of steak knives.

When Eddie's beloved tow truck Broncula breaks down, he must raise money to repair ""her,"" so he secures a wild array of odd jobs which quickly wear away at Malcolm's quality of life.

Aspiring sportscaster Malcom finally gets a chance to be on the air at the radio station but instead of calling the plays, he's given a dee-jay's graveyard shift. Surprisingly, Eddie ends up as the only one who can get his exhausted roommate through the long nights.

Eddie annoys Malcolm when he deviates from their established system of picking their joint weekly lottery ticket numbers and instead chooses what Malcolm considers a dumb mix - 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 and 30. Malcolm forgives Eddie's indiscretion when all six numbers come up, making them instant millionaires... or so they think.... Unfortunately for the mismatched roommates, for the first time in Missouri state history, there's more than one winner of the Instant Millionaire game - many more. When the money is divvied up, Malcolm and Eddie are able to redecorate their apartment just in time to impress Bridget, a young attorney and her roommate Nicollette, a parking enforcement officer, who move in across the hall. Strongly attracted to Bridget, Malcolm is summarily spurned when she makes it clear she's dating NBA Rookie of the Year Damon Stoudamire. Realizing he's at a crossroads in life, Malcolm decides to buy the bar from Kelly. Eddie uses his half of the money to convert the tow truck gar

Malcolm prepares for the grand reopening of Kelly's sports bar and Eddie arranges to bring in the live entertainment for the event. He also uses his connections to book TAFKAP (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince). But when engine trouble derails the Artist's arrival, Eddie steps in to keep the show alive.

When a beautiful woman arrives at the bar Malcolm is quick to ask her for a date but unbeknownst to him, she's Eddie's younger sister. When the truth is told, the roommates make an agreement that Malcom will keep the evening platonic, but an overprotective Eddie makes it clear that big brother is watching.

Eddie becomes a member of the Little Buddies Association just to get a date with one of its attractive female volunteers. When Malcolm accidentally reveals his roommates ulterior motives to his new little brother, Troy, the mischievous eight-year-old sets out to wreak havoc at Kelly's bar.

As Malcolm prepares for Halloween, fearful Eddie tells a story of a devastating family curse.

A man trying to bring a fake lawsuit against the bar, inadvertently dies, just as the guys get a visit from the city's toughest health inspector.

Eddie's uncle (Richard Pryor) teaches Malcolm to win at pool.

Malcolm's plan for rededicating his bar from its old name Kelly's, to its new name McGee's, goes amiss when the signs are misspelled, McGoo's. Meanwhile a crazed, bomb-toting football fan takes over Malcolm's crowded bar to protest the rumored move by the Kansas City Chiefs to Los Angeles, and the bar gets city-wide news coverage under the name McGoo's instead of McGee's.

Malcolm tries to settle his grandparents' quarrel after Malcolm's grandfather gets kicked out of the house and moves in with Malcolm & Eddie. Nicolette gets a new roommate named Regina, who has eyes for Eddie, but Nicolette remains determined continue persuing him.

While Malcolm is away with Lydia, Malcolm leaves Eddie in charge of running the bar for a day. Eddie gets the idea that he should transform the bar into an exotic dance club, but doesn't count on the law being there and wanting to shut down the club.

The guys land in jail when they try to scalp Jodeci concert tickets.

Eddie takes karate lessons from a kung fu master to prepare for a duel.

Holly passes Malcolm off as her boyfriend when her parents come for a visit. But all goes awry when Malcolm is caught in a compromising situation. Eddie seems oddly attracted to a psycho chick. And Tim meets Danielle for the first time, and its love at first sight.

The club puts on a 70's promotion and everybody dresses up in 70's attire, and grooves to the funk. Eddie gets into the spirit of the 70's, so much so that he remains there even after the promotion is over. When Nicolette arranges for him to get a city contract fixing parking scooters, Eddie's priorities become confused, & business & friendships begins to suffer. Eddie finally admits he's a Funk-aholic.

When the guys decide to film a TV commerical for the bar, to attract new customers, they are inadvertently a big success...as a gay bar. Finally, the guys decide to dress the part.

Eddie and Malcolm try to return an expensive leather sofa Eddie bought with rent money, even after he accidentally painted graffitti on it.

Tim is forlorn over his breakup with Danielle. He writes her a love letter to express his deepest feelings for her, but hands it to Malcolm to pass to her. But when Tim's love letter falls into the wrong hands, everyone who reads it becomes entangled in romantic misunderstandings, thinking that the letter was intended for them.

An unlikely romance blossoms between the guys and their girls, during an employee camping retreat in the woods. After being stranded in the woods overnight, Nicolette finally gets Eddie to surrender to her ample womanly charms. Meanwhile, Holly shares bodily warmth with Malcolm, and learns a new respect for him.

A rival towing company owner, runs Eddie out of business, and gets him to work for him. But Eddie decides to turn-the-tables on his unscrupulous boss, and get his business back.