Dan is surprised when Elise's parents invite him to their family Thanksgiving, but soon swears revenge when he learns that they only want to steal his secret family recipe for deviled eggs.

When Dan and Chris land jobs at the mall's Christmas display, Dan vows revenge on a curmudgeonly Mall Santa who despises Christmas. Meanwhile, Elise is assigned by the secret agency to take down the assassin under the codename of "The Snowman".

Dan fears his new neighbors are cannibals plotting to eat him, so he tries to run them out of town.

When Dan goes on an anti-dance crusade, he end up interfering with Chris and Elise's plan to enter a dance contest. Elise then exiles him to a ghost town populated by feral dancers, where he must learn the ancient art of "fight-dancing" to survive.

After Dan's bank raises their ATM fees, Dan enlists Chris and Elise to help him pull off a heist to reclaim his money.

Dan, Chris and Elise try to get rid of the monster that Dan accidentally summons from beneath his bed.

Chris shirks his responsibilities to go golfing with his boss Mr. Bambridge, so Dan and Elise team up to put an end to his new hobby.

Dan gets tricked into signing up for a long-term gym membership, and while fighting it, uncovers an alarming conspiracy.

As they sit in a jail cell, Chris and Dan reminisce about Dan's past attempts to sabotage Chris' relationship with Elise.

Dan's cat, Mr. Mumbles goes missing drawing him into a thriller and the arms of a captivating, mysterious woman.

A rampaging dinosaur destroys Dan's car, so he and Chris partner up with a croc hunter.

Dan seeks out the Governor for revenge for America's sinking I.Q.

Dan plots to end the persistant phone calls of a telemarketer, but is soon surprised to find out he knows the caller.

Dan tries to ruin Reality TV after he's humiliated by a producer named Buddy Starr, but he still wants to win the trip to Astronaut Sleepaway Camp.

Displays of poor parenting motivates Dan to adopt a child of his own to prove he could be a terrific dad.

Dan wants to drive a new superstore out of business, because it's hurting his favorite stores and encouraging Chris to purchase too many items in bulk.

Dan and Chris battle over a piece of sci-fi film memorabilia that may destroy their friendship.

Dan goes to a low quality dude ranch where he discovers he can't get a refund.

Dan's grudge against the state of New Mexico leads to a road trip with his best friend Chris and Chris's wife, Elise.

When Dan discovers mysterious scratches on his car, he plots revenge against the only culprit he believes could be responsible... The Wolf-Man.

Dan is convinced his dentist is evil and enlists Chris to help him expose the fiend's secret agenda.

Dan discovers an unlikely ninja vendetta.

Noise from the animal shelter keeps Dan awake, so he vows revenge.

Dan and Chris hit the road to get even with their friendly neighbor to the north, Canada.

Gridlock motivates Dan to seek revenge against traffic in the city.

Displeased by the quality of a Shakespeare performance at a local dinner theater, Dan decides the only solution is to shut the theater down for good.

Dan seeks revenge on baseball when the World Series preempts his favorite TV program.

Dan goes to war after his car is accidentally donated to charity.

Dan tries to destroy the beach after his car is smashed up by Beach traffic.

After a tree falls on top of Dan's car, Dan blames George Washington.

Dan plots revenge on Elise's parents after they interfere with his social life.

Dan's favorite sandwich shop gets closed down, so Dan goes after the new gourmet restaurant that replaced it.

Dan brings tyranny to a man who steals his identity.

When Chris decides to go on a camping trip with Elise and her family instead of hanging out with Dan, Dan vows to ruin the trip for everyone. Guest starring Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross as Elise's Parents and Daran Norris as Colby.

When a fast food restaurant gets Dan's order wrong and the megalomaniac manager, Jeff, refuses to correct his mistake, Dan chains himself to the restaurant counter as a protest, inadvertedly attracting the attention of the cashier, Hortence, who is attracted to "determined men".

When a street magician named Magnifico the Magnificent publicly reveals Dan's underwear and steals a necklace Chris was planning to give to Elise, Dan sets out to prove all magicians are frauds, with Chris in tow to try and get the necklace back.

Dan starts a crusade against a gang of thuggish children who are aggressively selling lemonade outside his apartment building.