The Red Guy is depressed because no one will play with him. After seeing Cow has Crabs the Warthog, he wants to play with her because he has Crabs's doll house. When he askes to play with Cow, she tells him not if he was the last man on earth. With that he locks the entire world in a trailer, and is the last man standing: but Cow still won't play with him.

Cow has a crush on Crag, the smartest kid in school, but is ignored by him. Her friends try to convince her that her horns are too small, so she tries every way to make them bigger by decorating them with coat hangers, paper masche, and even chocolate chip weenies. Cow later learns that Crag wasn't interest in Cow, because he had a crush on one of her friends.

While driving in the snow, Mom and Dad find The Red Guy who says he's heading ""home""; so Mom and Dad take him home with him, and immediately think of him has their new favorite son. Cow and Chicken work together to try to prove The Red Guy's a fraud.

Mom and Dad go out of town, leaving Cow as the babysitter, because she's the biggest, and not the oldest. Pretty soon, Chicken is at the mercy of his sister's babysitting technique: eating marshmallow soup for supper, doing homework with Crabs the Warthog doll, Piles the Beaver doll, and Manure the Bear doll, taking a bath and being scrubbed with dishsoap, and wearing diapers.

Cow is depressed because she has no friends: until she finds a fly in her room and befriends it. Pretty soon she and the fly are inseperable: until Chicken, Mom and Dad call in the fly exterminator.

Cow stays outside too late, and pretty soon finds herself lost in the woods, and tries to survive. She pretty soon comes to the conclusion that it's eat, or be eaten, so she puts on war paint, and finds a squirrel in a bush, she quickly eats. It turns out she was in the backyard all the time, and her imagination got the better of her.

After Earl gets the new Sergeant Weenie Arms action figure, he, Flem and Chicken go to Dead Skull Cave to meet the soldier himself, and become full-fledge weenie marines. After they do so, they learn that weenie marines are sissies. alias "Chickens Don't Fly"/"P.E."

Cow and Chicken get an unexpected visit from Cow's twin cousin, Sow (a pig with 8 teets). After Sow's first day at school, she causes chaos, and puts the blame on Cow. It's up to Cow to pull the plug on Sow's evil ways.

Cow brings home an ""invisible"" dog, whom she dubs, Kevin. Pretty soon, she and Kevin are inseperable, but causes trouble with school and friends. After she enters Kevin in a dog show, and wins, Kevin ""runs away"". Afterwards, Cow finds Kevin, befriended an ""invisible"" homeless man.

Cow tags along with Chicken, Flem, and Earl on their camping trip in the tree fort. Cow says that if Chicken, Flem, or Earl touch her dream catcher that they'll die. Chicken accidentally breaks her dream catcher, and soon, he, Flem and Earl are at the mercy of Cow's worst nightmare: The Milkman.

Grandma pays at visit to Cow and Chicken's house to take them to the mall with her. Her purpose for being at the mall: to look for a new grandpa, because she lost the old one. Chicken gives her the slip while he, Flem and Earl hang out at the concession stands.

Chicken refuses to take bath, so he just sits there in the empty tub, while Cow, Mom, and Dad try to make him take a bath so they can use the toilet.

Cow and Chicken are taking a trip all by themselves. Their taking an airplane. Once Chicken sees the actual plain, he starts to have anxiety attacks and believes that flying is a dangerous way to travel.

P.E. Chicken, Flem, and Earl are finally 6th graders, and are ready for their first day at junior high. Once in their gym class they find it difficult to put up with a strict P.E. teacher, and bully twins.

Cow and Chicken have a big test the next day at school but when Chicken forgets to study, he tries to fake all kinds of illnesses to avoid going to school. After holding his thermometer over the grill, Mom and Dad call the doctor who makes housecalls: The Red Guy.

Chicken is upset because he can't whistle, and everybody else can. The Red Guy tries to tutor Chicken, but he finds out that Chicken can't whistle because he has no lips. The Red Guy then immedietaly sends Chicken to surgery.

Cow wonders about the day she was born. Chicken tells her she was adopted, Mom tells her that the stork delivered her, Dad said they found her in a cabbage, Teacher says she hatched from an egg, and Red Guy says he delivered her.

Red Guy is CEO of a giant factory. He holds a birthday party for himself in the confrence room later that night, but none of the employees show up. But it doesn't matter, he has enough fun by himself.

Chicken puts prices on himself and Cow at the store and Red purchases them but is unable to determine their usefulness.

Cow doesn't wish to come in, but rather stay out all night to stare at the moon. So she builds a make-shift rocket ship out of cardboard boxes, a trashcan, and traffic cone. It ACTUALLY works, and finds herself on the planet Mud, where she brings space alien (Red Guy) back to earth where he says the solution to all problems is: puppets.

Chicken is fed up with Cow's constant babbling, and wishes for her to shut up. Cow then gives Chicken the silent treatment. Chicken soon regrets when Cow doesn't tell him about an oncoming truck, and not representing him in court.

Flem and Earl find themselves lost in the middle of an ocean near the equator. They fear their lives are short, and begin reminescing about their fun lives: home coming, water boys, mentally challenged, eating cheese in Yurp, running with the bulls in Pimplelotta, singing drinking songs in Germany, and having love for Cow. I am Weasel: ""I.R. Do""

Dad decides that the family needs a pet...so he buys a spayed male jackel named Ed. He and Mom go out to celebrate, leaving Cow and Chicken alone with a living terrorist pet. Cow and Chicken then consult ""How to Care for Your First Jackel"" to try to tame Ed.

Cow bakes her own pie and wants Chicken to try it...but he doesn't want to. Cow then follows Chicken everywhere until she takes drastic measures...hiding all of the food in the house, only leaving the pie. Chicken gives in, and discovers the pie is actually good. Little does he know...it's really poop.

Mom and Dad are disgusted that Cow and Chicken believe the world is round, so they hire Dad's brother, Longhorn Steer (who really is a steer) to tudor Cow and Chicken. Longhorn fails, but Cow and Chicken learn that he doesn't want to teach...we wants to be a normal steer, get married, have kids, hold a job, and stampede.

Chicken's dream is to be a world famous figure skater, so he and Earl enter a figure skating contest. Red Guy is jealous because his partner is Flem, so, he injures Earl, making Chicken helpless out on the rink...until Cow comes to save Chicken's dream.

Mom and Dad decide to let Cow have a pet. She choose an anaconda, after it eats Chicken, and she hears his voice from inside the snake, and assumes the snake can sound just like Chicken. Cow names the anaconda, Fluffy, and Fluffy soon grows attached to Chicken, as its full-coarse dinner.

Chicken, Flem, and Earl play a game of kickball. Cow's udders kick the ball into the bushes, where Chicken, Flem and Earl discover a laughing puddle. After Flem and Chicken run back out, they forget the ball, and go back to discover that Earl is in the puddle. Chicken sends Flem after him, and he is stuck too. Chicken then gets Mom and Dad, who jump into the puddle, and Chicken drops Cow in there to save everyone. Chicken is then the only one left, until he discovers the puddle is a doorway to Boneless Chicken's nightclub.

The Red Guy is now Captain Butz Pirate, and wants to give Cow and Chicken pirate lessons. He takes them aboard his pirate ship in the middle of the duck pond, and teaches them how to say ""argh"", carve peglegs, hold worms for ransom, and sink Flem and Earl's boat. But after that incident, Cow, Chicken, and their flag/man Jolly Roger declare mutiny.

The Red Guy hosts a new late night talk show called ""Dead Ghost, Coast to Coast"", and reminds the viewers that tonight's Halloween. Chicken calls in, and is instructed to dress as a human being. So, Cow and Chicken go trick or treating as Mom and Dad, only to find that the neighbors assume that a grown man and woman are trick or treating. With that, Super Cow and Chicken teach The Red Guy a lesson.

Cow's tongue rips out of her mouth and runs away. He then causes havock all over town, by hi-jacking someone of their motor-scooter, rolling around in someone's gravy, and licking the candy store dry. Soon, Tongue finds himself on the lam, and runs back to Cow. Everything is back to normal, until Chicken's wattle decides to run away to.

Chicken is tired of always having to do chores, so he chews Mom and Dad out, and runs away to be a bachelor with Cousin Boneless Chicken. One at Boneless's Chicken attracts the attention on Boneless's blind-date, Linda. Linda falls head over heals for Chicken, which makes Boneless disgusted.

Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl try out for the school's sumo wrestling team. For being big and fat, Cow is the new team member. Soon, everyone fears her, and she feels degected, but it benefits Chicken, because now no one will beat him up.

Cow and Chicken's class go on a field trip to the Cometorium, where Chicken is bored stiff. After getting hit by one of Dad's golf balls (he was golfing right next door), Chicken hangs it in front of the telescope; soon, the whole town is in panic of the arrival of ""Dad's Ball Comet"".

The school's newspaper editor has been fired. Teacher then brings in The Red Guy, as reporter Geraldo Rearviewa to advise. He decides to produce a new school-news show, and makes Chicken the anchorman, and Cow the editor. But soon, Red Guy's false stories makes Chicken loses friends.

Cow, Chicken, Mom, and Dad go on a safari in Africa, where they run out of gas. Cow and Chicken then find themselves at the mercy of laughing hyenas, and man-eating giraffes. Super Cow comes to the rescue, only to find that she has actually been defeated by the Grizzly Beaver, who has eaten the giraffe, who has eaten Chicken.

The Red Guy sneaks a crow egg under Chicken's covers while he sleeps. The next morning, Cow and Chicken find the egg, and Chicken comes to the conclusion that he is actually a girl. So, it's egg sitting for Cow and Chicken, until the egg hatches and a baby crow comes out. Now Chicken comes to the conclusion that he isn't even a chicken.

Boneless Chicken teaches Cow and Chicken how to properly fly kites at Lava Park. When Cow's kite tangles with The Red Guy's Kite, he then uses Boneless as his new kite, and has a kite tug-of-war against the Asswipe tribe, over the hot-boiling-molten-lava river. Cow and Chicken come to Boneless's rescue, and the Asswipe tribe wins, while Red Guy takes a dip in the lava river.

A group of female bikers break into Cow and Chicken's house, and start gnawing on their carpet. One of the bikers has a crush on Cow, and invites her to join the Buffalo Gals. It's up to Chicken to save his sister.

Dad is sick of his high-tech reecliner always malfunctioning, so he decides to dump it. Before he does, Cow and Chicken decide to see what it's like to sit in ""The Chair"". They, and they get stuck, and are taken away to museums, and in stolen vans, and finally back at home, where Dad waits for his ""new chair"".

Chicken finds a credit card as his ""free inside prize"". Dad tells him that with the credit card, he can buy all the neat stuff he wants. So Cow and Chicken run down to the weenie emporium, where he learns he can only buy products with the value of 25 cents or less. With that, he buys a stick of weenie bubblegum for 20 cents, then The Red Guy shows up to collect his 5 cent interest.

Chicken turns 11, and is allowed to operate the food catapault. So he feeds Cow with pork butts, but when his sleeve gets caught in the catapault, he ends up getting swallowed by Cow. With that, Mom and Dad take her to The Red Guy, who tries to get Chicken out of Cow's cavernous abdimen.

After Chicken's beak is bruised by Dick, his school bully, Mom and Dad send him to karate lessons. Chicken takes up butt-fu from The Red Guy, but when Chicken still is unable to beat up Dick, Chicken decides to force a refund (with help from an invisible Super Cow).

Chicken holds a yard sale, but when one of the price tags accidentally falls off the table and onto the yard, The Red Guy literally buys the yard. Mom and Dad expect Chicken to get the yard back, in which he does by having Cow play a game of one-shot battleship with The Red Guy.

Cow and Chicken decide to get on Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots; so they glue each other to their heads, and send the tape in. They then meet the host of the show, The Red Guy (who portrays Lance Sackless). After Cow and Chicken win the grandprize, The Red Guy trashes them with insults about how stupid they look, so Super Cow takes out The Red Guy.

Mom and Dad are upset that Cow and Chicken aren't afraid of the dark, so they call in a specialist on fear: The Red Guy (who portrays Dr. Lackslacks). He tries everyway he can to make Cow and Chicken afraid, only succeeding in making himself afraid of everything.

Teacher is disappointed when the school's plastic surgery team has no championships, so she calls in The Red Guy, to be the new plastic surgery coach. Chicken and Cow immediately join the team, and are taken to the finals, where they must compete against real doctors, who are still in grade school.

The neighboring county of Montzerellaville is in the middle of a Holy Cheese War. One of their own, Slappy McCracken, is part of the exchange student program. He and Cow fall head over heals for each other. Cow then decides to stop the cheese war by proving that cheese isn't used for weapons, it's used for food.

Amateur director Ivan Panced (The Red Guy) hold auditions for the role of ""Pretty Little Girl"" in his new movie with the same name. Cow wins the role by being the only girl who can't puddle dance. Cow's performance is charming, and well as tear-jerking: the horror is yet to come as the cameraman discovers he forgot to put the film in the camera.

Cow and Chicken mess with a Junior Chemistry Set, and created perpetual energy, a beam of energy that keeps on going forever. The Red Guy kidnaps Cow and Chicken to recreate the energy, so he can win a trip to up North without having to sell Military Scout Cookies. I Am Weasel: ""My Friend, the Smart Banana''

Cow and Chicken are sent to the copy room to make copies of the pop quiz. They then get carried away by making copies of their butts, and themselves: causing the copier to blow up. Cow and Chicken run down to the local officer supply store, while The Red Guy brings a copy of Chicken to life. The Chicken copy then causes chaos all over school, while Cow and the real Chicken try to destroy it.

Chicken rushes through breakfast, and accidentally eats a box full of coffee flakes. He then goes crazy and has trouble getting to sleep. On his third night of no sleep, Chicken then runs up the Empire State Building. Super Cow shoots him with warm milk, and Chicken finally falls asleep.

Cow and Chicken's class takes a field trip to Folsom Prison. There, Chicken changes place with a prisoner, and causes riots by pantsing guards, and demands Pork Butts and Taters for lunch, while the prisoner, Rhode Island Red, pretends to be Chicken. Cow sees through this, and under Super Cow, returns Red, and rescues Chicken.

Chicken, Flem, and Earl decide to sneak into the girl's bathroom during the middle of the night. With Chicken suited up, he goes behind the pink door to discover a cigar machine, a hair washer, and an enclosed toilet, where you can get a complete image makeover. I Am Weasel: ""This Bridge, Not Weasel Bridge""

Cow wishes to be a famous supermodel, and gets her 15 minutes of fame, when The Red Guy discovers her. She soon appears in magazines and buildboards, but soon becomes yesterday's news.

Cow wants to earn money to buy the new Crabs the Warthog Doll. So she gets a part-time job at the milk farm, where her milk is superb. Chicken decides to get a part-time job too, and is refered to the Chicken farm as a ""temporary employee"". I Am Weasel: ""I.R. On Sun""

Cousin, Boneless Chicken has been assigned to babysit Cow. She takes him outside to play catch, in which she throws him, and then catches him. At one moment, she tosses him too high, and he's stuck on the roof. After she goes after him, she accidentally knocks down the laddar, and is now stuck on the roof too.

The Red Guy is sick of being foiled by Super Cow, so he opens up a laundrimat for super heroes, in hope to find out who she really is. It doesn't work, so he goes to Cow and Chicken's house, and kidnaps Cow. Chicken then goes to the rescue as Super Cow for her.

After Cow and Chicken get one measly little crumb on the floor, Mom and Dad send them to military school, where they become emotionless, hard-boiled soldiers. Mom and Dad then send them to sensitivy school, where they become girlies.

Chicken starts molting, and is convinced that he'll get a dollar for every feather by the molting fairy. Chicken adds it up to $700, and decides to start an I.O.U. system at the carnival.

Cow writes a poetic play about a weenie, who is an outcast because he's not delicious looking as the other weenies. Chicken, Flem, and Earl think it's a crazy idea, but Mr. Fleur, the school's drama teacher decides to produce the play. Cow and Chicken's class get ready for the play, Flem has been cast as the Ugliest Weenie, a role was original given to Chicken. When Chicken sees that Flem get to play off the leading lady, Wee Wee, Chicken decides he wants Flem out of the way, so he can resume the part. But everytime he tries to get rid of Flem, he ends up hurting Mr. Fleur, until he's wheelchair-bound. The night of the play begins, and the cast and crew learn that Flem has been struck with chicken-pocks, so Chicken gets the role, while Cow is the new leading lady, since Wee Wee caught the pocks too. The play goes on, and all the weenies cast out the Ugliest Weenie, but soon learn that ugly is good, because it means that he won't get bar-b-qued, and eaten. I Am Weasel: ""I Are Big Star""

Crash Dive: Chicken build himself a wooden submarine, to use in the water. It's a pretty good submarine too, it comes with a parascope and everything. Cow launches it into the water for him, and he floats off, until he is sent down a waterfall. Super Cow goes to Chicken's rescue. Happy Meat: Chicken is sick of the cafeteria's food, which is nothing but a steady diet of ketchup. Since Chicken is against it, he has been banned from eating anything from the cafeteria. After a halusination of seeing his great grandpa and grandma, Cow and Chicken decide to open up their own little meat cafe, which turns out to be quite popular. I Am Weasel: ""Power of Odor""

Chicken is sick of the cafeteria's food, which is nothing but a steady diet of ketchup. Since Chicken is against it, he has been banned from eating anything from the cafeteria. After a halusination of seeing his great grandpa and grandma, Cow and Chicken decide to open up their own little meat cafe, which turns out to be quite popular.

Chicken and Flem are the victim of Butch, the school bully. But Butch soon finds himself the victim of the new school bully, Jimmy, along with Chicken and Flem. Cow persuades Chicken and Flem to help Butch, and they soon find out that they were really wimps inside inflatable buff suits.

Cow and Chicken go to the arcade, and play the time machine. They find themselves back in a deserted time, where The Red Guy introduces them to the primortial soup. But when Cow accidentally drops her quarter into it, everyone in the present time has quarters for heads. Cow and Chicken must go back into time again to stop her.

Orthodontic Police: The Red Guy is an orthodontic police officer, whose duty is to correct those with bad teeth. He puts them into painful and rediculous-looking retainers that cover their whole bodies. He ultimately puts them on everybody, even those without teeth. When everyone learns that the braces are permanent, Super Cow comes to everyone's rescue.

Cow has a new pair of glasses, and suddenly becomes the smartest person in school. Chicken decides that two can play at that game and gets glasses himself, but since he already has perfect vision, the glasses make everything look blurry. He soon becomes the new smartest kid in class. Because of his new intellect, he is placed in charge of tearing down the new ""dungeon"", which was really a new indoor swimming pool.

Cow learns that she has a herding instinct, and soon starts to fit in with other crowds such as flocks of ducks, schools of fish, and the military. She soon learns that she is supposed to herd with other cows, so she does, but soon dislikes it when all the other cows do nothing but stand and eat grass.

While playing a game of doll tag, Chicken is kissed by Winney. Everyone then tells Chicken that he has cooties, and that his beak will shrivel, his tongue will swell to 16 times, his butt will fall off, and his eyeballs will fall off. Chicken then has an anxiety attack, and imagines all the things others said. He then wakes up to find his parents tell him that he has to kiss Winney back, and marry her.

Cow and Chicken play at the arcade. The Red Guy persuades Chicken to play his new video game. Chicken is placed in a special chair, and fitted with special goggles, and he finds himself, virtually in the video games. He then finds himself the victim of a bunch of killer daises.

Lawnmower Chicken: Chicken needs to earn money to buy socks, so he gets a job mowing The Red Guy's lawn, which has grass taller than him. He also has to mow the back yard, which contains the Swiss Alps! After Chicken finishes, The Red Guy cheats him, so Super Cow fixes it up.

Cow buys the new Piles the Beaver Doll, and takes him to the carnival with her. When he's catapaulted into the air, she then goes on a wild goose chase all over the carnival just to catch him.

Space Cow: Cow and Chicken write essays on the jobs they'd like to have when they grow up. Cow wants to go into space, while Chicken wants to go into marketing. The winning essay's writer will get to have a day's worth of experience of their career choice. Cow wins, and she gets to help two astronaut fix the stuble microscope, while Chicken is runner-up, however instead of being actually marketing, he's a bagboy. The spaceship runs out of fuel, so Chicken goes into space to save Cow. The Legend of Sailcat: Flem's Dad takes Chicken, Flem, and Earl on a camping trip in the woods. Cow shows up with Chicken's forgotten hairbrush, only to be kicked out by him, Flem and Earl. Flem's Dad then sings a ballad to the kids about a flattened cat, who can act like a frisbee, and cut things down like trees and trucks. Later that night, the kids find their cans of Sugar Frosted Weenies cut open by Sailcat. I Am Weasel: ""Happy Baboon Holidays""

Flem's Dad takes Chicken, Flem, and Earl on a camping trip in the woods. Cow shows up with Chicken's forgotten hairbrush, only to be kicked out by him, Flem and Earl. Flem's Dad then sings a ballad to the kids about a flattened cat, who can act like a frisbee, and cut things down like trees and trucks. Later that night, the kids find their cans of Sugar Frosted Weenies cut open by Sailcat.

Mom and Dad take Cow and Chicken on a vacation in Oregon to find ""head hunters"". The Red Guy is their tour guide, and takes them into the woods, where they find a tribe of headhunters. While Cow, Mom, and Dad are watching Ice Walkers, the tribe have their eyes fixed on Chicken's head.

Cow goes to Arkansas to meet The Red Guy, who is trying to become the King and Queen of Cheese. The problem is that his method of making cheese is sucking the cheese out of things such as buckets, water towers, weasels, haystacks, silos, grandmas, horses, dogs, lizards, hyenas, ducks, and now Cow. Chicken rescues Cow and the other animals, who then turn the cheese suckers to The Red Guy.

Chicken thinks about smoking seeing everybody else doing it even slows down his process and the devil (which is actually the red guy hes just called the devil in this episode because its the pirate episode)takes chicken down to hell. Chicken says that he will never do it again but the devil (the red guy) says that its to late and supercow finally comes to save the day and take chicken from hell back to there home.